Rain, rain, rain...

Isn't it strange how rain brings about miserable attitudes and miserable children. The darkness of the sky combined with the drizzle of rain. For some reason rain is always linked to tears for me. I always feel like crying when it's raining. Who knows for what reason it is? There are many reasons in my life at the moment that would be worth a tear or two.
I shouldn't be feeling so down though, tomorrow is the start of Daniels very first ever holiday! We were going to Fiji for 4 nights, but that got canned. We were going away to Springbrook for 2 nights, but that got canned. Now our holiday plans consist of odd jobs around the house, with a trip to Currumbin if and when it stops raining. I guess as long as your not at work your on holiday, however, I am technically still going to be at work, considering my work is at home taking care of the family. Dan will get a rest though, that's what counts right? I'll just have to wait a bit longer for my holiday to come... whenever that may be... if it ever happens... Yes, the rain makes me feel dreary inside. It makes my heart sink, and my thoughts to be of sad and negative things.
Rain, rain, rain....

New Year, New Me!

So today I start a new venture, one that i've never done before. I'm on a diet! *pause for effect*
I kinda feel like i'm cheating myself, because I've always said I don't believe in diets. To loose weight you need a lifestyle change, not just a fad diet that will drop the weight quickly, but also pile it back on again. I have grown up with my mum struggling with diets, all of them working, but also watching as it all goes back on once the diet is finished.
But, seeing as I already eat well and cannot exercise properly, this will have to do. I have a wedding in April and my own wedding in October, alongside battling with my poor self image and lack of energy. If anything, I hoped to gain better eating habits. Such as eating 3 times a day at least, instead of the 1 main meal and eating scraps off the children's plates.

So diet time, I am on Tony Ferguson. Thanks to Andrew for the kick up the butt and motivation to actually try out some sort of diet. Shakes and energy drinks sound just what I need to get the energy levels up and the fat coming off. Well, I sincerely hope so!

Day 1:
Chocolate shakes are gross with fibre added! I felt like shoving a tube down my throat and pumping it into my stomach. I also had a hard time finishing it as it was kinda too much for me! I was very full!
Had my not-too-ripe banana and 2 glasses of water for morning tea.
Watched my children eat vegemite sandwiches while I drooled... never drooled over sandwiches before. But now because I cannot have them, I suddenly want them. Isn't that strange? So because I was 'hungry' I nuked some frozen vege's up with some lemon and thyme, then proceeded to have a Cafe Latte shake. And now I feel like I could roll out the door! I actually am so full I think I need a nap! I have to eat again in a couple of hours =|
Afternoon tea will be an apple I think, then dinner will be along the lines of chicken enchilada's minus the enchilada for me. :( Boo! I like my tortias!

So, there you have it. Doing something about my weight and I am actually eating more than usual. Strange? Yes... yes it is...

Poor English Rant...

I really hate people who CAN spell properly but CHOOSE not to! I mean, how hard is it type - sorry, yes, you, your, anyway, because... I just don't understand the need to shortcut and why you'd want to practice poor language skills.
What was the point of 12 years of schooling to be just as inconprihensible as a 5 year old? And school students, why practice poor English while your learning it? I'm pretty sure when your doing your QCS test "OMG why are u doin that 2 me 4?" won't get any marks what so ever!

I don't know, maybe i'm not cool enough to understand why on Earth 'net slang' is so popular. I think 'yer' is such a bogan thing to say. "yer boi" "rite on" "bcoz" "soz" Yup... I can't stand it.

xx

Early Birthday Surprise!!!!

Well i havn't posted in a while, since Miss Stalker showed up. But I just could not resist sharing my awesome birthday surprise!!!

My birthdays on Wednesday (4th) but Dan decided that he wanted to give it to me early. He approaches me and ask's if I wanted to play a game. I'm intrigued but I had a feeling he was being silly and would end up being a prank. So I said no! But came around after some convincing. He hands me an envelope and gets down on his knees.
Inside is the most gorgeous card and message from him. It's for my eyes only though! I also notice a peice of paper with the strangest message!
"Yours goes slow, mine goes fast, why not look inside, and prepare to have a blast"
Ok, what is that supposed to mean. I'm told to figure out the riddle and follow the clues. Ok, so what on earth do I have that is slower than his. A lot of things! I finally realised that he was talking about our cars. So I went and searched the cars. Low and behold, under the passengers chair was a golden wrapped gift. Within is a G5 Gaming Mouse! With another clue!! Wow! He has more than one gift?!?!
So the next one reads, "They're usually Green, But ours is Black, I'll give you a hint, It's around the back!"
Seriously, what? What on earth is green but ours is black? And it's outside? Well this took quite a while, but I realised he was talking about our greenhouse. Ours has black meshing instead of the traditional green. It was like that when we found it.
I search for a while (he is good at hiding things!) and find yet another golden wrapped gift. Inside is a G15 Gaming Keyboard! YAY! How wonderful. A new mouse and keyboard, and, another clue! I was getting rather nervous, he didn't get me another present?! Surely!!!
"Did you think that was all, did you think I was through, one more to go, just because I love you!! p.s. it's in the carport"
I couldn't believe it! So I floated into the carport and searched for ages, ended up asking him to play hot and cold as I couldn't for the life of me find it. He'd hidden it in the cupboard that was on it's side. Silly me! Another golden wrapped gift. It was huge. And heavy! Oh my goodness! Inside was a 22" LCD monitor!!! Oh my goodness me! How lucky am I?? I also recieved another note, "This is the last one, for this year at least, but always know with each passing moment, my love for you is increased."

I love my man...

It's been a while...

Well I haven't posted in a while, and maybe it's because I have forgotten (most likely) that I was supposed to keep posting. And also I didn't want to fill it with negativity as everything else in my life seems to be these days. I want things to be better, I want to be happy I really do! But there just seems to be so many changes, so many things go wrong that it gets really hard to see the bright side. How I miss the days when I was always able to see the sunny side and be bright and cheery. The good old days I guess.
Well what's getting me down? There was an 'incident' that happened last year when Asuka was quite young where people went off the rails over a comment I made on a forum. Yes, I can understand why people were concerned. But I never deserved the crap that followed. I have never felt so horrible in my whole life. And that sent me into a spiral of depression. It was only yesterday that I was able to realise, that that point in my life was where it all started. The self doubt, the loss of self confidence, the depression. Why speak about this now? Well I have recently found out that one of these "women" have been 'keeping an eye on me'. by Someone on my friends list has been passing along information (mainly status updates) to her from Facebook. Now is it just me or is that considered stalking? After the incident I was petrified of going to the shops, changed my phone number and hid inside my house. I didn't want anyone to identify me, I can't even gather the courage now to go to a damned playgroup.

I am, however, happy I found the source of the depression. So now hopefully I can start crawling my way out of it all. I already do feel better, thanks to the love and support of my fiancé.


And a message if this gets passed on:
I hope you are happy lady. You are a vulgar and venomous person, I hope you change your lifestyle before your son starts mimicking your behaviour. Stay away from me and my family. It is not your duty to 'check up' on me. I will go to the police against you and that horrible website you are affiliated with. Cyber-bullying, character defemation and stalking should not and will not be tollerated.

By the way I have evidence how inappropriate you really are and have copied all your posts and the foul language. I dont think this is appropriate for a catholic school teacher.

Burn Baby!

I gotta shed this excess weight already! I mean, common!
I am a little worried though, as my muscles arn't repairing the way they're supposed to. It's all a little funny. After having a bit of an argument with Dan over how much I can actually physically do, I researched up some special programs for poor post-pregnant ladies like me. I envy you mumma's who look so fab after childbirth!! *Stares at quite a number of you!*
Those of you like me check out here and here.

Gentle tummy exercise:
Pregnancy splits your abdominal
muscles down the middle. It is important to make sure your muscles have healed
before you do any vigorous abdominal exercises, such as abdo crunches. In the
meantime, you can tone your tummy by performing an exercise that strengthens the
deepest muscle layer (transversus abdominus).

Be guided by your doctor,
midwife, physiotherapist or exercise physiologist, but general guidelines
include:

You can perform these exercises lying down, sitting, standing
or on your hands and knees.

• Keep your lower back flat.
• Breathe out and draw your belly button back towards your spine. Your
  lower back shouldn’t flex or move.
• Hold this position and breathe lightly. Count to 10.
• Relax and repeat up to 10 times per set.
• Do 10 sets, as many times per day as you can.
• You may like to perform your pelvic floor exercises at the same time
  (see below).

I think i'm still at stage one unfortunatly. 6 months on and my muscles are still split! I have been doing these excersices at least once a day. Twice if I remember! I jumped on Wii Fit while Lil D was asleep and got about 12 minutes of hula-hooping and stepping before I was stuffed (and Lil D woke up!)
Unfortunatly my weight has only changed by 0.1kg. LOL! Oh well, staying the same is better than putting on!

I set a new goal on Wii Fit to lose the 10kg in 6 months. That's 0.8kg per fortnight. Do-able I guess if I try! Seems like a small enough goal! It's not like I don't already get buttloads of excercise every day, lifting 7-12kg, walking up and down the stairs, sometimes with both weights in hand! Running after children... But i'm sure someone is going to tell me that it isn't classified as exercise. Well at least i'm not sitting around all day, or sleeping, oh how I wish I was sleeping... Sleep! Oh how I miss thee! Why doth though taunt me with lazy thoughts and pleasant dreams.

For my birthday can I have 6 hours sleep? KTHNXBAI

Finally some good advice!!!

As you all know we've been having a hard time with Lil' D, a __really__ hard time! I have seen a few doctors about him (notice everytime I desperatly go see a Dr our family Dr is not available!) and all they could say is bullshit. One even told me that he had nappy rash and I should put cream on it. (Note: Danté did not have nappy rash). So when it came time for me to freak out and make another rash Dr's appointment knowing my GP would most likely have no appointments free, I was told to try a Child Health Nurse. Now I never thought much of CHN's because they're not Dr's. They can't help you if the child isn't sick. But I called up anyway. After speakin to an absolutely faboulous nurse, Lisa, she explained that around this age babies develop the seperation anxiety and it will last about a month. She also pointed out that Danté was not getting enough sleep during the day! I should've been on top of that! To be honest I had no idea that he was only supposed to be awake for 1.5hour periods of time. And you know what... It's worked! Just by giving him more sleep during the day, he sleeps better at night. It still takes me quite a while to _get_ him to sleep, but nowhere near the hour and a bit it used to take. Actually at the moment I am up and down to get him down for his midday nap. It's running on about 20 minutes now, so lets just hope he settles. She also suggested I stop rocking him to sleep if I can (which I am more than happy to stop doing as he just wakes up when I put him down) and allow him to whinge/cry a little bit before rushing in. I'm really amazed at how he has been self settling. He will start screaming and give me the cue to come settle him again, and sometimes, by the time I get over to him he has stopped and starting to sleep. I think my boy just likes to cry? Although I hate seeing him do so. I don't want to sound cruel, but I really have to make sure that he's happy and healthy before worring about myself, and sleeping more is going to make that happen.
Oh and is he every happy now?! It's been 3 days since I talked to the CHN and it has been so much better. I am feeling like a human being again, instead of this mindless zombie that just goes on auto-pilot and forgets whole days. Oh yes, I have forgotten days. To be exact, I have lost last Monday. I cannot for the life of me remembered what we did! Just gone, a whole day! I'm sure it's not a good sign. I should start planning my holiday, my escape. Jeeze I need one. Maybe I can do that for my Birthday, it's coming up in a few months. Although I doubt Lil' D would've given up breastfeeding by then, he'll only be, say, 9mo. Yeah, don't think that's going to happen. Oh well, I'll keep dreaming of it...

xx